Rejection: God’s Protection in Disguise
“Rejection” is a word that carries a sting, that can linger long after the moment has passed. We’ve all felt it, that sharp pain of when someone decides they don’t want to do life with us. It hurts, no matter how strong we are. But each time it happens, it’s a reminder to get back on course.
There was a time when I couldn’t see rejection this way. Whenever someone rejected me, whether it was a friend, family member, coworker, or even an acquaintance, I would find myself groveling, desperate for them to reconsider. I would compromise my own needs, preferences and desires, just to win back their favor. I was so focused on earning their friendship that I completely neglected the most important friendship of all, my relationship with myself. (And God, of course.)
Isn’t it fascinating how rejection from others can make us quietly start to reject ourselves? Maybe you stop showing up on social media, opt out of social engagements or perhaps even start avoiding mutual friends or family members. To some degree, that can be healthy while you’re hurting, but harmful if you are healed. If you are hurting it’s like a caterpillar going into a cocoon. But if you’re healed it’s like a butterfly willingly clipping it’s own wings.
Don’t get me wrong, I know the “meantime” can be a mean time, but it doesn’t have to be. Even if one person rejects you, you are still worthy of pursuit. Life has a funny way of presenting you with full circle moments. Years ago I went through a friendship breakup that led to several months in therapy only to realize that my former friend chose herself over me and everyone else. Sure, she could’ve handled people with more care, but sometimes you have to temporarily stop caring for others in order to adequately take care of yourself.
I’ve realized over time that no matter how hard I tried to please others to regain their approval, the cost was always too high. So I had no choice but to start choosing me. The more I chose others, the more like them I became. When I started choosing me, I became more of who God made me to be. Eventually I observed that the better I became at being a good friend to myself, the more likely someone was to feel rejected by me. Rejection is a spirit, easily transferred from one hurting person to the next. When you start practicing radical honesty as opposed to people pleasing, it can be jarring to those who are looking for something in you that can really only be found in God. You can go from being someone’s inspiration to their enemy within a matter of seconds when you start expressing how you truly feel. Sometimes we can be bound for so long that when we start to get free and set boundaries to protect that freedom it can sound like we’re being brash, braggy, or a b!%(#.
If you are ever rejected for unmasking, welcome to the FLY Effect. Becoming a FLY Girl means it’s always okay to be bold. It takes a lot of soul-searching and a lot of prayer, but eventually, you will start to see rejection through a new lens. God uses moments of rejection to beckon us to accept ourselves. The sting of rejection can guide you away from situations that would otherwise drain you, hurt you, or pull you away from your purpose.
Once you relinquish the temptation to chase after the approval of people, you access the ability to love yourself well. It’s more important to have a healthy self-perception than to seek out the love, approval, and validation of others. I know, it’s tempting to try to change someone else’s mind to convince them that you are worthy of their time and attention, but please know, if someone rejects you, they will not respect your time, nor will they value your ideas. And usually, the rejection has less to do with you and more to do with what they are walking through. Their rejection is not a reflection of your worth. It’s simply a sign that they are not meant to be in your life for this season and that’s okay.
So today, I want to encourage you to reject rejection. Stop hiding and make a conscious choice to shine. Don’t let rejection dim your light or dampen your spirit. Never let the fear of what others think hold you back from being your authentic self. There are people out there who need exactly what you have to offer. There are women waiting for someone just like you, to step into their lives. Rejection may hurt, but it’s an opportunity to realign with God’s plan for your life, to protect your heart, and to invest your time into what matters most. God is guiding you even when you feel like you’ve been pushed away.
So go ahead FLY Girl, shine brightly, love yourself fiercely, and trust that the people who get you will be drawn to you. You deserve to FLY (Feel Like Yourself.) You are worthy of friendships in which you feel seen, supported, and celebrated. The kind of sisters that will stay with you until peace comes when a misunderstanding has taken place. When you’ve been hurt it’s hard to imagine that those kind of friendships exist, but they are out there, waiting for you to embrace them. Just make sure that when you embrace them it’s not at the expense of embracing yourself.
An affirmation for the FLY Girl whose feels rejected.
“Despite my imperfections, I was made to shine,
Though this wound hurts, I will be just fine.
I let go of the pain and the scars revealed,
I am worthy of wholeness, and I'm already healed.”
